How to Choose an Insertable Toy
Insertable toys — dildos and similar shapes — have more genuine variation in size, firmness, and shape than almost any other category, which makes them easy to overthink. A few practical rules cut through most of the guesswork.
Start with size, but don’t chase the extremes
It’s tempting to assume bigger is a safer bet, but the actual research on this doesn’t support it — see does size actually matter for the full study. In short: circumference around, or just slightly above, real-world average consistently performs better in practice than anything at the larger end, and length barely factors in at all. If you’re not sure where to start, a mid-range size is a better default than the largest option on the page.
Decide vaginal, anal, or both
This determines one non-negotiable spec: anything intended for anal use needs a flared base. See anal toy safety for why this matters — it isn’t optional, and a toy without one shouldn’t be used that way even if nothing on the listing explicitly warns against it. A toy genuinely designed for both purposes will have a flared base regardless of which way you’re using it that day.
Material shapes everything else about ownership
This is worth deciding before size or shape, since it affects cleaning, lifespan, and even how firm the toy feels. See our full materials guide, but as a quick reference: silicone is non-porous, easy to clean thoroughly, and lasts years; TPE feels softer and costs less upfront but is porous and needs more careful hygiene and more frequent replacement; glass and stainless steel are rigid, non-porous, and can be sterilized in boiling water if you want zero maintenance guesswork.
Vibrating or not
If you already own a separate vibrator for clitoral stimulation, a non-vibrating insertable toy is a perfectly common and popular combination — plenty of people prefer keeping the two functions separate rather than paying more for a combined feature they may not use as often as expected. If you’re buying your first toy and want one item that does both, a rabbit-style design (see vibrator types compared) covers that need directly.
Firmness and flexibility
Softer, more flexible materials are generally more forgiving for beginners and easier to maneuver at different angles. Firmer materials (glass, steel, harder silicone blends) deliver more precise, consistent pressure but leave less room for error in angle and speed. Neither is objectively better — it’s a matter of what sensation you’re actually looking for.
Price isn’t a reliable quality signal here
Contrary to what you’d expect, higher-priced insertable toys don’t reliably outperform mid-priced ones in real customer satisfaction. Spend more when it buys something concrete — better material (silicone over an unspecified blend), a stronger warranty, or a design feature you specifically want — not simply because a higher price feels safer.